Goodbye To You
by Allenby Beardsley
Summary: Another sad Allenby fic. Not a D/A. A song fic to Michelle Branch's song. Chibodee's POV in sec chpt. C/A
1. Song fic

A/N: Me again!  Ah, another sad Allenby fic…Damn, why do I like to torture my fav characters?  ::shrugs::  Oh well.  Anyway, I was just foolin' around at about 12:10AM when I should be doing my AP US History summer work, thinking up some ideas for random fics that I'm working on (and delaying finishing the one fic I am with my friend Domon, who actually reviewed my poem and liked it!! ^_^), when I was reading the lyrics to "Goodbye To You" by Michelle Branch (although I probably know the words by heart from hearing it so much on the radio…), and thought, "Hey, that'd make a good sad D/A song fic if written right.  So, without further ado, here's my not-so D/A, with some hints of ChibodeexAllenby in the end, fic "Goodbye To You."  (Hmm…wonder where I came up with the title from…)  Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: Ok, if I *really* owned G Gundam, Allenby would most likely end up with Chibodee, there would be more angst, and of course (since I'm so morbid), there would be more fight scenes.  End of story.

Goodbye To You

Allenby walked along the beach back at Neo-Sweden with a small frown on her face.  Three years…it had been three years since the Dark Gundam was destroyed…  And she said goodbye to the most perfect man she had ever met.  Her heart was still in shock at the whole thing; how could she let him slip away from her so quickly?  Why was her heart still breaking at that scene playing out in her head?  Why wouldn't the pain just go away?

**Well of all the things I've believed in

I just want to get it over with

Tears form behind my eyes

But I do not cry

Counting the days that pass me by**

It was to save the world…  It was true love…  They were so happy together…  It'd probably happen anyway…  She was his soul mate…  Their love destroyed the Dark Gundam…  The Fate of humanity depended on it…

She heard all those before…everyday.  Everyday, those reasons yelled in her head to try to justify why she had to do it.  But…but deep down…it still wasn't enough…  Deep down, a tiny part of her wished that she just could've been selfish for once and kept him to herself.  They would've found another way to destroy the Dark Gundam… *Their* love would've stopped the menace…  

But that's just what they were: thoughts.  Thoughts and nothing more.  She knew that…  Why didn't her heart know that?  She sighed heavily as she stopped her stroll and looked out onto the horizon to see the setting sun.  Hm, the sun was red, just like…just like Domon's bandana…  She blinked away the unexpected tears that formed in her eyes and mentally cursed herself for thinking of him.   It felt like she had to restart her whole life without him.  She didn't think that day at her hotel room that she would ever lose him.  He had the choice to chase after Rain right then, but…he came to see *her*.

**I've been searching deep down in my soul

Words that I'm hearing

are starting to get old

It feels like I'm starting all over again

The last three years were just pretend

And I said,

Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold on to**

She wiped her eyes and sniffled then reached into one of her pockets on her vest and pulled out a small picture of him.  She stifled a sad laugh as she lovingly and painfully stared at it, tears falling down onto the old photo.  It was taken right after he won his match against Chibodee, and he was standing there smiling.  She remembered perfectly when she took the photo all those years ago.  She had just lifted up her camera to take a picture of him when he looked down at her from his Gundam and locked eyes with her.  He smiled at her; he seemed so happy to see *her* there…  

She took a shaky deep breath and closed her eyes, hoping to relieve herself of this acute, agonizing pain, but instead, visions of Domon still haunted her mind…dreams she had for the two of them.  Dreams of the two of them, holding hands, walking under a starlit sky…  Dreams of the two of them sitting in front of a warm fire, cuddling close together…  Dreams of the two of them in a church, whispering "I do" to each other…  Dreams of the two of them at the park with a little boy that called him Daddy…

The pain was killing her, slowly but surely killing her.  She fell down to her knees, still clutching the photo tightly in her right hand, holding her head in her hands, crying.  "Domon… Oh Domon…!…" she sobbed, more tears falling down her cheeks.  She didn't care if anyone could see her crying; she kept calling for her Domon…  Hers.  Not…

**I still get lost in your eyes

And it seems that I can't live a day 

without you

Closing my eyes and you chase my

thoughts away

To a place where

I am blinded by the light

But it's not right**

"Domon!…  Domon, please come back to me!…" she wailed, sobbing harder.  It was unbearable.  She wanted him so bad…but she knew he would never be hers.  He was the first person to ever see her as a real person, a human with real feelings, not as some machine or experiment.  She shook her head, as she still held it in her shaky hands, crying out her heart.  She tried so hard to hold onto him, to not let him leave her like her parents did.  But, in the end, she lost him too…  The one man she had ever loved her whole life, and she lost him forever…

**Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew

You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold on to**

She sniffled as she tried to dry her tears with the back of her left hand.  However, they kept forming and falling.  She sighed sadly as she reached into her other pocket and pulled out a single sheet of vanilla-colored paper.  It was a invitation…a *wedding* invitation…  

Rain and Domon were getting married…

She stared at the paper, shock and pain filling her eyes.  Everyday, she got up and lived…for him.  For the chance, for the hope that she would see him again.  Yet, every night as she laid now to sleep…she wished to die, to never awake to another day.  She wanted everything; she wanted to world to be at peace and to have her King of Hearts…  But she also wanted nothing; she wanted to be nothing, to be gone from everything that reminded her of him, which was life itself.  No more.  She was going to put up with it no more.

"No more…" she murmured as she slowly stood up, unconsciously dropping the invitation from her hand and letting it fly away in the small breeze that seemed to come out of nowhere.  She was going to end her pain forever.  She pulled a strand of her still short turquoise blue hair away from her eyes and held onto the photo of her love tightly and held it over her heart as she stared out into the ocean.  Into the endless blue abyss.  Into the rhythmic waves.  Into her deep tomb.  As if she was in a daze, she stepped out onto the cool water, moving in quickly until it was a little over ankle-deep.  

**And it hurts to want everything and 

nothing at the same time

I want what's yours

and I want what's mine

I want you

But I'm not giving in this time**        

She was surprised how natural the water felt to her as it filled up inside her boots as she continued walking out deeper and deeper into the ocean.  Tears kept falling down from her eyes as she blankly stared out at nothing, but she suddenly stopped when she reached waist-deep.  Why was she stopping?  Was it some survival instinct?  She shoved it out of her mind.  What did she have to live for anyway?  She didn't have any family…and no one really cared.  Oh sure, if she'd die, the scientists would be upset because they wouldn't have a Gundam fighter for the next tournament, but no would she care if she died because they cared about her.

**Goodbye to you

Goodbye to everything I thought I knew**

"Hey!!  Neo-Sweden!!" a loud, masculine voice called from behind her.

She froze.  The water was starting to come up her rib cage.  What was that?  That voice…  Who was it?  It was as if time was slowed down on purpose as she turned around to see a man standing there on the beach.  A young man with a decent build.  A young man with worry in his eyes.  A young man with blue and pink hair.  

"Ch…Chibodee Crocket?…" she asked, unsure if it was really the fighter from Neo-America.  Somehow, he heard her say his name, and he nodded.

"Allenby…come back here!!" he yelled, stepping closer, until his feet were almost touching the water.  His arm was reached out towards her, and his voice was filled with concern.  She shook her head and took a tiny baby step back.  The tears came slower but were still falling as she looked at him.  The same strange breeze began to blow again, and some of the longer strands of her hair flew out in front of her, almost as if they were trying to reach him.  He bit his lip, looking at her nervously.  Without saying another word, he quickly began wadding through the water out to her.  She couldn't move; she felt frozen under his panicked gaze.  It was only when he picked her up and began to carry her back over his shoulder that she began to fight him.  However, Chibodee didn't put her down until they were a foot away from the water, and even then, he held her firmly by her shoulders.

"What were you thinking?!" he demanded.  Allenby could only look down at her feet as her poor body shook from trying not to cry.  She then looked up at him, gazing into his bright green eyes, her own jade ones filled up to the brim with tears.

"Domon!…Domon!…I want Domon!…" she hoarsely screamed, crying once again almost as hard as she did when she first started.  He sadly frowned at her and pulled her into a tight, protective embrace.

"Shh…I know, I know," he whispered, holding her closer.  She cried into his chest, loud, hard, bitter sobs.  She found herself wrapping her arms around him in a effort to stay up.  She buried her head in his chest, crying more as he did nothing but hold her.  The breeze became stronger, and she held on tighter to her picture, but she could feel it slipping away.  She clutched tighter, but alas her fingers were slick and wet from the waves, and it escaped her fingers.  She opened her eyes and watched over his shoulder as it flew from her hand and took off never to be seen again.  She knew there was nothing she could do to escape Chibodee's arms and nothing to get back her precious photo.  At that she began to cry harder, as she now lost him, every bit that she had left of him, she now lost.

**You were the one I loved

The one thing that I tried to hold on to

The one thing that I tried to hold on to**

"Allenby," he began softly in a melancholy tone as he still held the distraught woman, "It's been three years now…  You need to move on…  He's getting married to Rain…  You need to leave him behind…  You've got to let go…" 

She made no response as she continued to cry.  Her eyes looked up towards the now night sky and looked at the stars and remembered his bright smile that always cheered her up.  Weakly, her hands clutched at his jacket as she buried her head into his chest and sobbed harder and let Chibodee hold her as she cried out her broken heart and soul.

**And when the stars fall

I will lie awake

You're my shooting star**

~Fin 

A/N: Wow, and I wrote this 2mins shy of 2hours!  Woo!  Go me!  Read and review please!!!  Oh yeah, my friend Shion just mentioned this idea that I might do, if you want, I can do Chibodee's POV on this.  Let me know in the reviews.  Ja!


	2. Chibodee's POV

A/N: Ok, since one reviewer asked for it (and so did my friend Shion-chan), here's Chibodee's POV on it.  It took me a long time, and I'm sorry.  It was harder to write than I thought it was going to be.  Also, it's not a *true* songfic in this chappie, since I didn't really know how to relate the song into the fic.  I hope you're not too disappointed with the results.  Enjoy and review!  It'll make me happy! ^_^

Goodbye To You 

"Here's the mail today Chibodee!" Bunny cheerfully replied and handed him a bundle of envelopes and walked off to the kitchen to go help Cath with cooking lunch.

Chibodee looked away from his computer screen, on which he was looking at different car designs.  He starting flipping through his mail with a look of disgust on his face.  "Junk, junk, junk, junk," he sourly replied as he toss each one onto the computer desk.  Suddenly, a small crème-colored envelope with swirly copper letters on it caught his eye.  He flipped it onto its back and looked to see who it was from.  "Neo-Japan," he whispered, and his cocky smirk appeared on his face.  

"Well, so old Domon and Rain decided to *finally* drop a line…" he joked as he opened it.  His green eyes widen slightly in shock as he read the message silently.  It was a invitation…a *wedding* invitation.  So, Rain and Domon were getting married after all.  He knew that Domon had talked to them the past year about proposing to Rain, and now, it seemed that he had.

He supposed that he should've felt a little jealous.  I mean, he liked Rain, he liked her a lot.  But…but somehow, it just wasn't like that.  He didn't know why, but he was kinda actually glad those two were getting married.  The two were obviously in love with each other, and it was equally obvious that the two were soul mates.  After all, it was *their* love that saved the world from the Dark Gundam.  

"Good for you Neo-Japan," he mumbled, his cocky smirk now on his face.  He put the invitation aside and looked at the pictures that were sitting on the computer desk.  

There was about ten standing there, all in different color frames.  One of them was of him and his mother before she was killed.  Two were of his beloved crew, one with him in the middle.  About five were of the whole group, one which had Rain kissing Domon right while they were outside New York.   A picture of like his old boxing coach.  But, it was the last one that caught his eye.  It was the most recent group photo, taken only a couple of months ago.  On the right side stood Allenby, with a lonely and almost sad expression on her face; it was obvious that the smile she wore was fake.  A thought struck him as he looked at her carefully; Allenby loved Domon.  Was she still in love with him?

He reached over for the invitation and looked at the date.  It was only a mere three weeks before the wedding.  Surely, everyone who was going to be invited would have already received one.  Did they invite Allenby?  Did she receive her invitation yet?  Even though her and Rain hadn't gotten along that well, Domon and her were almost best friends, so it was more than likely that she was invited.  And if she were invited, she would've gotten the letter by today.  How was she taking the news?  

He frowned slightly as he looked at her picture, thinking.  Different thoughts filled his head as he thought of her different reactions.  Maybe she had gotten over Domon and was laughing at this thing, throwing it into the fire she was sitting in front of with her new boyfriend… Maybe she was burning with fury and went into Beserker mode and was currently creating havoc for her home nation… Maybe she was actually happy for them and was thinking of what to give them for a wedding present… Maybe she was devastated beyond belief and was crying her soul out, searching for a way to end her pain…

She wouldn't do that!  He shook the thought from his head.  As distraught as Allenby might be, she wouldn't commit suicide to escape her sorrow…would she?  He tried to reassure himself that she wouldn't but lingering doubts still plagued his mind.  He had to make sure she was okay.  He had to make sure it wasn't too late.  He had to find out if she was really over Domon or not.  

Swiftly, he got up from his chair and went to the kitchen, where his crew was.  "Girls!" he called as he entered the room, and they all looked up at him.  "Pack your bags!  We're going on a trip!"  Cath and Bunny squealed with joy.

"Going where?" Janet asked.

"Neo-Sweden," he answered.

"Why there?" Shirley questioned.

"I…I want to visit…an old friend…"

They arrived in Neo-Sweden the next day at about 3:45 PM.  After checking into their hotel, he told the girls to go look around and have some fun while he went to go do some business.  Shirley and Bunny were a little leery about letting Chibodee go out on his own, but after some persuasion, they agreed and left.  

Chibodee took a deep breath as he stepped outside the hotel and looked around.  He didn't have the slightest clue where to look for Allenby.  He knew she would be staying at a military facility, but which one?  After wandering around a bit and asking multiple people to the whereabouts about the blue-haired Gundam fighter, he finally got his answer: Fort Stockholm.  Why it was named Fort Stockholm and it wasn't even *in* the capital city was beyond him, but he didn't care; all that mattered was that Allenby was there.

But *why* did it matter to him so much that Allenby was there?  What was going on?  Why was he even *really* here?  He pushed aside his conflicting thoughts and flagged down a taxi and told him where he wanted to go.  It took him over an hour and a half to get there.  In a hurry, Chibodee threw a wad of money at him and ran out into the military facility.  

"Hello sir, may I help you?" a young man asked behind the front desk.  He was wearing a plain gray uniform and looked like he was bored out of his mind, which he probably was.  

"Yeah, I'm looking for a Allenby Beardsley.  She was the Gundam fighter for this nation, and I-" Chibodee began.

"Oh, you're here to see her.  I'm sure some company will do her good.  Her room is located in Campus 2, Hall 5, Room 724," he answered, handing Chibodee a map and a visitor's pass.  Chibodee nodded in shock and looked at the map in deep concentration and absentmindedly stuffed the pass in his pocket, mumbled a thanks, and walked off.

"Room 721…Room 722…Room 723… Ah-ha!  Room 724!" he replied as he came upon the door.  He stuffed the map into his other pocket and stood out there frozen.  What was he going to tell her?  How would she react to him coming?  He took a deep breath, got his cocky smirk on his face, and knocked.  "Allenby?"

No response.  He knocked again, this time a little louder.  "Allenby!  It's me, Chibodee Crocket of Neo-America!  Can I come in?"  No response.  He frowned slightly in confusion and placed his head against her door but could hear nothing and began to get slightly worried.  

"Allenby?" he asked again after gripping the doorknob and letting himself in.  He looked around but saw no trace of her.  In fact, the room itself almost didn't look lived in.  There were no posters on the wall or pictures or anything that would suggest that someone really lived in here 24/7.  "Where could she be?" he thought aloud, and walked further into the room until he was in front of the bed and stepped on something.  He looked down and saw a open book.  Curious, he picked it up and discovered it was her diary.  He was going to put it back down, not wanting to bother her privacy, when today's entry caught his eye.

_7-20-63 F.C._

_I just received a letter from Domon today.  Normally, I would've been estatic to get a letter from him, but…it isn't a normal letter.  It's a…a wedding invitation.  Rain Mikamura, and Domon, the love of my life, are…are getting married.  I still can't believe it.  I can't believe he's getting married to her!  Every day and night since the battle with the Dark Gundam that he would return to me!  And now…now he's getting married.  I love him!  He's the only person I've ever loved!  I don't want to lose him!  All my life, I just wanted someone to love and for them to return it, but he doesn't love me!  I'm all alone!  I'm alone again…  I didn't think after Mom and Dad died that I could ever feel so alone, so dark, so…sad…  Domon was my heart and light, no one cared about me except for him.  Why should I go on living?  No one cares, no one at all.  Those stupid scientists raise me like I'm some experiment and don't worry about my feelings or needs!  I…I'm going to end it.  I've had enough of this.  I'm going to end my pain once and for all.  If anyone should find this, please tell Domon that I still love him and to the Shuffle Alliance, you guys rock.  I'm going to miss you all.  Bye._

His eyes kept reading the last couple of sentences, and he felt his whole body almost shut down with horror.  His heart was in his throat, his chest felt like it was it was slammed against his Gundam, and his head kept spinning.  "Allenby…" he whispered, dropped her diary to the floor, and ran out of her room as fast as he could back to the front desk.

"WHERE IS SHE???" he demanded, gasping for air, grabbing the poor man by the collar of his shirt.  

"W-Who?" he stammered.

"Allenby!  Where is Allenby?!  Where did she go?!  Tell me *now*!"  The poor man gulped and struggled to stand in the position that Chibodee had put him in.

"S-She went to the beach a little over an hour ago!  I-I guess she hasn't come back yet!  It's in the back; you can go check if you want!"  Chibodee dropped him and ran at full speed to the spot.  He scanned for her, not finding her on the beach.  He kept walking closer to the shoreline when he suddenly spotted her, standing there in the ocean.

"Hey!!  Neo-Sweden!!" he yelled, and she turned around; he could hardly see her she was so far away.  

Allenby looked at him shocked, her eyes still stinging with tears.  "Ch-Chibodee Crocket?…" she whispered so softly he could barely hear, and he nodded.

"Allenby…come back here!"  He was standing at the water's edge, his hand streched out to hers, worrying beyond belief.  However, she shook her head.  He bit his lip; he wasn't going to let her go; he wasn't going to let her die.  Without a second thought, he began wading through the water after her and picked her up and slung her over his shoulder.  

"Chibodee!  Let go!  Let me go right now!" she screamed, punching his back and kicking his stomach with all her might.  To say the blows didn't hurt would be a lie, but still he kept going.  He didn't stop or put her down until they were a good distance away from the water, and even then, he held her on the sand by her shoulders.  She lowered her head in order to avoid eye contact with him.  

"What were you thinking?!" he demanded.  He could feel his eyes hurting slightly as tears begged to fill them, but he didn't allow it.  

"Domon!…Domon!…I want Domon!…" she hoarsely answered, looking up at him again, her eyes sparkling with tears.  The sight was shattering his heart; he could never stand to see women cry.  Not knowing anything else to do, he pulled her into a tight embrace and rested his chin on top of her head.

"Shh…I know, I know…" he cooed softly, and he felt her latch onto him as she cried bitter, loud, hard sobs.  The sounds were tearing up his soul, and he wished with all his heart that he could take away her pain.  Her sobs came louder, more painful, and he began patting her back in a effort to calm her but to no avail.  "Allenby," he began softly in a melancholy tone as he still held the distraught woman, "It's been three years now…  You need to move on…  He's getting married to Rain…  You need to leave him behind…  You've got to let go…"

"I…I don't know how to…" she got out in a whisper after awhile, still crying, burying her face into his chest.  He stroked her hair, still trying to calm her.  "No…no one's ever cared about me before like…like him…"  He stopped the motion and pulled back and looked into her eyes.

"I care about you…" he admitted, a sad smile forming on his face as he stroked her cheek.  She looked at him shock and opened her mouth to speak, but he placed a finger on her lips, silencing her.  "Now, come on…let's take you back.  You've had a rough day.  I promise I won't let you be all alone anymore."  She threw herself into his arms again, her body shaking as she still cried.  He looked up and suddenly realized it was night and picked her up gently, holding her close as she buried her head into his chest and walked back up the military base.  

He laid her back in her bed and tucked her in.  "Goodnight.  See you tomorrow," he whispered with a small smile and turned around to leave her room.  She wiped her eyes and sat up.

"Chibodee?" she asked softly.

"Yes?" he responded, turning back to her.

"You…you promise you won't leave me?…"  Her lips were trembling, as though as she wanted to say more but afraid of crying if she spoke.  

He faintly smiled at her and walked back to her side.  "I promise."  He leaned down and kissed her forehead and wiped away the tears that were just coming out of the corners of her eyes gently with his thumb and gazed into her eyes.  Without saying a word, she wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him and rested her head on his stomach.  His smile grew slightly and patted her head with his right hand as his left arm wrapped itself around her shoulders.  She looked up at him with a small smile on her face.

"Thank you… Goodnight Chibodee."

"Sweet dreams Allenby."  He bend down and kissed her softly and quickly and left her room.  She stared off at where he went, and he appeared back in the doorway.  "Tomorrow, we'll go for trip to the arcade, okay?"  She smiled and nodded.  He smiled back and left again.

Allenby laid back on her bed and hugged her pillow.  Domon might be getting married to Rain, and she might have lost him forever, but now, she wasn't alone.  And deep down, she knew she would never be alone again.

~Fin

A/N: Aw, didn't I make it kawaii at the end?  ^_^

               


End file.
